If anyone thinks they're having the above problem, you're barking up the wrong tree
php variables act exactly like UTF8 Encoded Java Byte Arrays, and the problem is elsewhere in your code
Yes people the above stated project is finally over and I can get back to answering questions, hopefully I'll be able to post some of the write ups I mentioned soon too
The project spanned companies other than my employer, NDAs were involved, so its a matter of picking through and figuring out what of the exotic techniques we used I can and can't talk about, and to what extent