So I just got done reading okCupid's race relations article and I had to seriously consider the factors associated with my happiness.

I don't want to make this a post about race, because the (and I'll say it, the stats are right there) superior/inferior issues that we're born with don't just stop there (when I say superior/inferior I'M ONLY QUANTIFYING THE CUPID INFORMATION. Last thing I need is people calling me a racist). Even if everyone on planet earth was blue after (directly or indirectly) killing off the greens and reds, we'd still have our inborn differences.
Large noses vs small noses... tall vs short... hsv(160,100,100) vs hsv(145,100,100)...

There is always going to be the majority that is at the bottom of the chain and they just can't help it.
Well I can't say always. If somehow we can hijack the perception and convince people that they are superior in their individual ways of living then maybe we can end this struggle.

In fact. That's the only way to go.

But then what of the conscious of the hijacking? (could be all of us, or a few of us) Wouldn't we start to ask, "Can I value these built values?"
How can you silence that question? How can you make people not bring that to mind? Make sure they don't know?
So then the hijackers would probably feel superior since they dictate what everyone sees as superior.

To feel superior isn't to say you think of everyone else as slime. My mother doesn't know computers worth ****. My father isn't as tall as I am... I don't think of them as slime.

I wonder. Does everyone have to sub-consciously measure themselves as superior to others in order to feel like they're life is worth living?

How often do we change within out selves what attributes are more important to be superior? For example, I grew up in a situation where being good at sports meant you were a high valued person. I was convinced of that, but I slipped away from that when I saw the values of doing what I did (messing with computers).
Being a future higher paid employee is what mattered to me.
Admittedly, this even shadowed factors of social communication... I didn't value it at all. At a point, I would have rather been smarter than everyone as opposed to friends with everyone & ranking 2nd place in intelligence.
No... It's still like that, and it's because I know that even if I had to sacrifice love, I could still find a way to be happy... It'd just cost everyone else a lot.

I think of myself in that dark state, and I wonder if I really could be happy... but I know now that I can't be at peace being 2nd place. Sure, I'm not the smartest person now, but it's the potential I'm concerned with. I know that all things have to grow. I just want to make sure that I can grow to be the greatest, if that means modifying my neurology... then by all means.

How many people strive to be superior?
Am I sick for this?
I have a good sense for when people think I'm off (this happens often) but I can never figure out why and what's the exact perception of the preferred state. (to be more clear, I'm sure people will say "You should feel less like trying to be superior"... but honestly... how the **** do you justify that? seriously? If it means I'm stressing my heart out, well, ****, get a new heart.)

I can't say I think about being superior everyday. Mainly because I don't interact with people a whole lot. My schooling and employment don't call for a whole lot of human interaction. When human interactions do come around, I see it happening... a lot. jeez... I'm an asshole. And I'm perfectly fine with that?

I have a strong feeling that people don't feel they have to do the same things I do. Who is that more common with? People that feel that they are inferior? Maybe this changes with what an individual feels is most important. People that value loving their family don't really get competitive. "I LOVE MY FAMILY MORE THAN YOU!" Probably due to the fact that it's not something that can be quantified. (sure, on a fundamental level you can map out neurological associations and memories, but you can't say that the man who would cut off his arm to save his kid loves his kid more than the dad that willingly tutors his kid in math to see him excel ... well ****... maybe you can quantify it by the amount of self-sacrifice someone is willing to make, but those 2 sacrifices are 2 entirely different expressions of love... sorry about the arm example, really couldn't think of anything else.)
Regardless.... love is hardly is ever a competition. Probably because it's ambiguous and when in love people are optimistic about how much the sacrifice would be. (Jimmy would fight 15 men at once for Jane, but Jack would have backed down at 3 for Jessi... such metrics rarely are illustrated... but then again, Idk, I don't even have irl friends anymore, much less a girlfriend.)

With this universe simulator concept solidifying... I've thought about "what if I could just put everyone in the world in a simulator so that they could be superior in whatever universe they wanted" ... but even then, the simulated beings will be living creatures essentially. So inferiors will still exist. If you deny them rights as beings to have access to a simulator, then what stops the people from denying the current inferiors rights to access superiority? "You just don't matter, too bad".

I've been keeping up with this Japanese comic called Naruto... The ultimate bad guy wants to subject the world into an illusion. In this illusion everyone will be happy. The only reason he's considered a criminal is because it'd be a false reality.
I'm sure this ignites the minds of philosophers who question "does it even matter?". I know that I've asked myself that. The only support that I have for answering "yes" is that with an innacurate perception of the world, they can't defend against outside threats (once a meteor hits their planet, they're done) But then you have to consider... people find ways to be happy knowing that they are going to die (then again... some pretty much bank on doomsday coming around and god taking them up to heaven without the need to die) So never mind. i'm getting off topic.

I'm extremely curious about death though... I want to see how the conscious experience transforms. The 2nd time I smoked weed I had felt that I was close to death (doctor told me I had an allergic reaction... we wont get into this now)

My goal is to bring co***ict to an absolute 0. Right now, the only way that I can see that happening is subjecting everyone to a illusion of feeling that they are living their lives optimally (superiorly).

Recently I've had a dramatic shift in my idea of a utopia. All concepts still involve my current set of ambitions, but after those goals are accomplished (assuming I'm still alive) what should be done next?

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