I never liked those Dummy books. They seem more like glorified reference manuals then they do training books. That being said, I'm not much good with Flash, but as far as HTML/CSS go, I have a few years under my belt.
My best advice to learn HTML and CSS is to find a website you like, and then try and duplicate it exactly from scratch. This will inevitably force you into considering at least a few design decisions, enlighten you about the shortcomings of CSS and HTML, and inevitably, help you develop a personal style. If you get stuck, you can always take a glance at the site's CSS and see how the designer did it.
Once you become adept at being able to duplicate sites exactly, try taking these sites and making minor changes to them. For example, changing the highlight color or the menu style. From there, move on to modifying more significant portions and eventually you'll arrive at the point where you're making your own original sites instead of copying someone else's
Their is no substitute in practice and there is no shame in emulating the more experienced. The only real taboo is pretending you did something by yourself when in reality you borrowed the idea from another. Its amoral and depending on where you live, might also be illegal.
All web designers hate the internet. If I spend all day making/updating/looking at websites, why the hell would I want to deal with it outside of work?